On Saturday I began my new year. That was my birthday, and I am really expectant that this year will be much better than the last one! I haven’t written in My Healing Notes very much over the past two years, but I feel like I want to document my healing journey now.
Looking back I can see that I have been under tremendous stress over the past few years. Last year all of those horrendous experiences culminated in a very big malignant breast tumor. Yes, this is the third time I am going down this road. But this time, I am doing it differently. I am handling it differently. And if you are on this particular road with me, I hope we can encourage each other. So, bit by bit, a little each day, I will document this journey this year, and hopefully this time next year we can celebrate our successes together.
I think is healthy to acknowledge the trauma we have been through. To look at it from this distance out, to accept that while it was horrible, it can no longer hurt us. We are safe now. We can move forward. We can look forward to being healthy and strong again. We are not handcuffed to our emotions. We are more than capable of experiencing and giving forgiveness and of being free.
So for this day, I will see what new things await. As God says in Isaiah 43:18,19: “Do not call to mind the former things, Or consider things of the past. Behold, I am going to do something new, Now it will spring up; Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert.”
Starting out on a journey is always filled with the unknown. Sometimes the road ahead looks like this – uneven, filled with unknown obstacles. Sometimes it is smooth, but this journey is starting out like this picture for me. And that first big hole is self-doubt. Can I actually lose all the weight? Can I really be healthy and feel good most of the time? Can I realistically make money with my business? Can I . . . . .?
The more I think about this, I am sure all of these are the wrong questions. Instead of “Can I?” I am going to ask “How can I . . .?” How can I begin to lose weight – today? Is there something I can change to make my body healthier today? Just for today – this one little step? How can I bring more prosperity into my life today? These are the questions that I would ask if I had Courage.
So my first step is to ask myself better questions, and allow some space for better, more creative answers. So I can step around this first big trap of self-doubt and get on my way.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed; for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 NASB
My new word for this year is Courage. The road ahead is not well defined nor even fully imagined yet. 2022 was such a hard year of pain and loss, and I am still pondering it’s lessons. I expect 2023 to be better. So I am going to begin my journey to healing, wellness, prosperity, and happiness with small baby steps, honing my vision of my destination bit by bit. Step by step.
I invite you to join me. The idea of planning and organizing, which used to be exciting, seems hard right now. However, I am going to take Courage and begin.
By the way, if you have not chosen a Word of the Year, I hope you will consider doing so. It can be something you want to bring more of into your life, and it will serve as a focus point when you wander off the beaten path. I like to keep a log of quotes, scriptures, pictures, etc. that appear each day with my word in it. It helps me quiet and center my mind, and helps me track my growth throughout the year.
Today I am going to begin a journal. I never really thought of myself as an author, though I think I can write down my own happenings. I am going to document my thoughts, feelings, things I do . . . I may even add pictures or a pressed leaf or flower. Mostly I want to remind myself of all of the things I have to be grateful for. My intention is to write in it at least once each day, but I have a feeling that the more I write, the more things I will see and become aware of to write about.
Just like this month, October, I don’t know exactly how it will look at the end of the month. But I am going to step back and take a breath. I am going to use this tool as another way to anchor myself in peace. I encourage you to join me.
“Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.” — William Wordsworth
So here we are again, my friends. We embark again on our healing journey. I have been reading the new book by Chris Wark Beat Cancer Daily. He has such profound insights, such simple, yet powerful, ideas. Today I am reminded once again that this is a journey – it takes time to get to my destination. I am responsible for the choices I make. I am sailing this ship. But I am not alone, for my God is near.
What will today bring? Smooth seas or rough waves? Blue skies and beautiful weather or storm clouds and squalls? Will I make good choices and move closer to my destination or will I be stuck again? Or, worse yet, will I get overwhelmed and thrown off course? No matter – I simply will not quit. There is such peace and power in simply deciding that – I will not quit.
I invite you to join me on this journey, for I find the way to healing is also the way to wealth, peace of mind, and success in just about everything. And I will hold you as powerful in your journey, no matter what.
Each new year I choose a word that I want to focus on for twelve months. I am always amazed at the insights and growth that comes when I do this. Some of the words I have chosen in the past are ‘Joy’ and ‘Freedom’. But this year I chose ‘Power’. Through this focus I have become aware of the (many) times I have given away my personal power, and what it means to take it back. So far I have come to understand a little of what it means to be ‘Empowered’ and to empower others. (It is only March, though!) And I have learned that mindset is possibly the most important thing we can develop – how we look at things.
A big part of my focus on ‘Power’ this year is to resume writing this blog. My intention is to encourage all of us, to empower us in new ways, and, no matter what, to be stronger because of it.
So here we are with a new ‘stay at home’ or ‘lockdown’ order from our state due to the COVID-19 virus. What better time to consider our personal ‘Power’?!
Today I am going to empower myself to learn how to blanche and freeze the fresh vegetables I bought yesterday. How will you empower yourself today?
Here we are again, a new season of Spring. A new season on so many levels though, many we never imagined. Currently, confined at home while the latest corona virus stalks, it would be easy to become fearful and/or give up. Please allow this gentle encouragement to bolster your spirits, and join me in finding and naming the things we can be thankful for. Even in the spring storms we can find respite, appreciate beauty, and cherish peace. And let our minds rest on these things. Even in the midst of pain and grief, there are blessings and calmness to be found. It is my prayer that you seek these things to focus on, and take one day at a time.
Gratitude. It is Spring again, and I feel like I am coming to life just like the flowers and trees! It has been a year (I can hardly believe it!!) since I finished my last round of radiation therapy. This has been one of the hardest years of my life. It has been a season of closed doors, of grief, of waiting for strength to return. Thank God for Spring! If you, like me, have been waiting for renewal, for something positive to come around the corner so you can begin to hope again, this is for you. I would like to invite you to celebrate with me. Nothing fancy really. I would like to hear your story, to rejoice with you in your victories however small or large. To cry with you in your disappointments. To lift you up. I admit this is a selfish request. I feel the need to reach out, to connect with other people (finally!) I would be honored to share my journey with you, and to travel with you a little ways on yours. My commitment to you (and to myself) will be to write every day a brief note on this site. Today, I feel like flowers!
Where do I begin? Now that I must rebuild my body from the ravages of cancer – again. Now that I am older. Now that I am far from family and most friends. I heard it (hearing that you have been diagnosed with cancer) described as a bomb going off in your living room. I think that about sums it up. That which was familiar looks . . . changed, altered. Nothing feels good.
And yet, I still believe in healing. I do believe there is power in believing. Healing power in faith. In God. And I know how to heal, having done it once already.
The Dash Please take about 3 minutes to view this short video. It just might make the difference in your mind set today. Even while experiencing pain or fatigue or whatever else your body is feeling today, you can still live well. You can love and smile and give thanks for many things today. I hope you have a day full of grace and peace.
